Parenting is complex no matter where you are, but raising a child in a culture that is not your own adds an entirely new layer of challenge. As a therapist, I’ve spoken with many parents who feel caught between the traditions they grew up with and the realities of raising a child in a country that operates differently. And as a mother, I understand this struggle on a deeply personal level.
In my case, I have two very different experiences under one roof. One of my children moved abroad with me and still holds onto the cultural identity of the place we left behind. The other was born here, knowing no other home. I watch them navigate their worlds with different perspectives. One is aware of the shift, the loss, and the changes, while the other embraces a culture that is fully theirs without question.
And then there’s me, a parent trying to find my own sense of belonging in a place where I have built a life but still don’t have the depth of history and connection I once did. I have my partner’s family, and they have been a source of support, but it’s not the same as having my own network. The friends who have known me before motherhood, the community that instinctively understands the struggles of raising a child through a shared cultural lens, are missing.
The Hidden Challenges of Raising a Child Between Two Cultures
From a psychological perspective, raising children in a culture different from your own can bring up several challenges, both for the parent and the child.
Identity & Belonging
Children raised between cultures often find themselves navigating multiple identities. The language spoken at home might be different from the one spoken at school. Traditions that feel important to a parent might not hold the same meaning for a child growing up in a different social environment. Over time, this can create a sense of being in-between, belonging to both cultures yet fully neither.
Cultural Expectations & Parenting Styles
Every culture has its own approach to parenting. Some emphasize independence, while others prioritize community and family closeness. Some view emotional expression as essential, while others encourage more restraint. Parents may find themselves questioning their instincts when the norms around them differ from what they knew growing up.
The Emotional Load of Parenting Without a Support System
Parenting without a familiar community can feel incredibly isolating. There are no casual drop-ins from family, no deep-rooted friendships where support is instinctive, no shared history with other parents navigating similar challenges. While many parents eventually find connection, it takes time, effort, and vulnerability to build that network from scratch.
How to Navigate These Challenges
While these struggles are real, there are ways to navigate them intentionally to create a sense of stability and belonging for both yourself and your children.
Validate Your Own Experience
It’s easy to focus on how your child is adjusting, but it’s just as important to acknowledge the emotional complexity of what you are going through as a parent. Recognizing your own feelings of isolation, identity shifts, or cultural grief is the first step in addressing them.
Create Cultural Anchors at Home
Whether it’s language, food, traditions, or music, find ways to integrate meaningful cultural elements into your child’s everyday life. These don’t need to be forced but should feel like a natural extension of home life.
Give Your Children the Language to Talk About Their Identity
Children raised between cultures can sometimes struggle to articulate their experiences. Help them put words to their feelings, whether it’s talking about the differences they notice, the way they feel when they visit your home country, or their sense of belonging.
Build Your Own Support System, Even If It Takes Time
Finding connection as an adult in a new country is challenging but not impossible. Seek out communities that resonate with you, whether through parenting groups, cultural organizations, or friendships that develop naturally over time. It may not replace what was left behind, but new bonds can still offer deep support.
Let Your Children Find Their Own Relationship with Culture
As parents, we often want to preserve the parts of our culture that shaped us, but our children’s experience will always be different from ours. Allow them to explore and integrate both cultures in a way that feels right to them. Some traditions may stick, others may evolve, and that’s okay.
The Journey of Belonging
Raising a child between two cultures is not just about helping them find their identity. It is also about navigating our own as parents. The process is layered with nostalgia, adaptation, and sometimes a sense of loss, but it is also full of moments of joy. Watching our children embrace both worlds, hearing them speak two languages, and seeing them carry forward parts of our heritage in ways that are uniquely theirs are the gifts of raising children in a globally connected world.
For parents in this space, know that the feeling of being in-between is not forever. Belonging is not just about where you come from but about where you choose to create home. And home, no matter where it is, is ultimately built on love, connection, and the small, intentional ways we bring meaning to our daily lives.
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